If you’re reading this, you may be a man who either has been struggling with your wife to conceiving a baby for the first time or, if you are really wise, you’re doing some searching before you actually decide to start on this journey by making one of the most important steps in your life.
Before I get into the ABC’s , I want to talk to you man to man and what life and becoming a father expects out of you. If you were not expecting an lesson on moral responsibilities, skip down to the part that says “ABC” …. but if you can begin getting your role straightened out (no pun intended), you will have an advantage that will pay extra dividends throughout your life. If you’re already there, then this will resonate.
Husbands: Love your wives.
Put your toys away for a moment, put your dynastic careers on hold and turn off the idiot box just a long enough to understand that it is better to “live in a tent on a beach with someone you love than live in a mansion by yourself” (Jim Rohn). Getting pregnant can be a very trying time for women (and for men), so this is no time to slack on being a friend and an encourager, being courageous, a good listener, and perhaps being a bit bold and spontaneous as the circumstances dictate. Perhaps most of all, you want to exude being stable, a rock, the foundation that bringing a little special child into this world requires.
And guys, develop some relationships with some trusted men who have adequate foresight and can see you in their rearview mirrors of life. Be humble enough to seek their counsel if you need it and even if you think you don’t. Don’t make mistakes on your own if you can learn the lesson from others.
Hey, not to sound too serious, this should be really fun and enjoyable, a great opportunity for a couple to experience the intimate wonders of each other. Keep things playful when possible!
I like how Dennis Rainey of Family Life Today put the marriage relationship (paraphrasing): “Men, we’re here to learn how to put women in their place… (pause for effect).. and that is to give our wives a place of honor as God intended.”
From a biological standpoint, men have at least as much responsibility to get that male seed into position as the women have to produce an egg and when you as a man can show love and compassion for your wife, you will have far greater chance to achieve conception because being relaxed and in synch with each other makes it easier to recognize the body’s signals that prime time is near.
You will want to “please” your wife. As a result, your wife will be more at ease and that will help her body achieve her ends.
Here are the ABC’s – a generic example is illustrated.
Women of child-bearing age have what is known as a “menstrual cycle.”
The cycle begins and ends at the beginning of a “cleansing” period.
The average cycle is 30 days.
Approximately 2 weeks before the end of the cycle (in the case of a 30 day cycle, the middle) an event occurs called “ovulation.” This is when one egg is made available to be introduced to a sperm cell. The egg travels through a long thin tube called a fallopian tube in order to get to the uterus. The uterus is the female part where the would-be baby will grow and develop through pregnancy.
Okay, what normally needs to happen for the egg to get fertilized?
A whole bunch of sperm (10’s to 100’s of millions) are introduced into the female vaginal canal (that’s the part that’s like the wall outlet that you plug in your power tools… got it?) with the mission objective of reaching the egg.
The usual location where the two meet is when the egg is still traveling through the fallopian tube.
Once one sperm cell successfully penetrates the egg, it automatically locks out the other sperm who maybe knocking on its door (Just in case you’re wondering why a million sperm are not celebrating victory!). Sperm have a life span of up to 7 days in extreme, but maybe about 2-4 days average in normal pursuit mode.
The fertilized egg then lands on the uterus and stays there.
If the egg has been fertilized, a woman’s body will signal not to start a “cleansing” period. If it has not been fertilized, then the cycle ends with the beginning of another period. The unfertilized egg is released and we start over again.
Okay, that’s the basic overview for you guys, just in case you didn’t get all that from watching network television or the last two corporate board meetings.
For a more understanding of how to get this multiple carburetor set up in synch, watch for future posts.
(Sorry ladies for so many masculine references, but I hope you get a kick out of it!).